Why are some people and organizations more successful than others? Why do some people have wonderful careers, moving from position to position, onward and upward, earning far more money, being consistently paid more and promoted faster?
And why is it that others go from job to job, continually worrying about money and feeling that they are unappreciated for their hard work and their contributions? Why do so many people, as Thoreau once wrote, "live lives of quiet desperation?"
When I started my business career, I was so far behind, I thought I was first. I moved from job to job, seldom by choice, a bit bewildered by the swirl of events around me and the seemingly unreasonable and unpredictable behaviors of my bosses. I felt like a pawn, playing in a game, or being played in a game, in which I didnt clearly understand the rules.
Then I began asking, "Why are some people more successful than others?"
I noticed that the people around me who were doing better than me did not seem to be smarter than me or of better character. Sometimes, they had difficult personalities and questionable ethics. Often their ideas and opinions didnt make much sense. But they were doing well nonetheless.
The Great Discovery
The first big breakthrough for me was my discovery of the Aristotelian Principle of Causality, or what we today call the Law of Cause and Effect. At a time when most people believed in Gods on Mount Olympus who amused themselves by toying with human fate and destiny, Aristotle stated something completely different. It changed our view of the world forever.
1. The Law of Cause and Effect
Everything happens for a reason; for every effect there is a specific cause.
Aristotle asserted that we live in a world governed by law, not chance. He stated that everything happens for a reason, whether or not we know what it is. He said that every effect has a specific cause or causes. Every cause or action has an effect of some kind or another, whether we can see it, or whether we like it or not.
This is the granddaddy law, the "Iron Law" of Western thought, of Western philosophy. The relentless search for truth, for the causal relationships among events, has led to the rise of the West in science, technology, medicine, philosophy and even warfare for more than 2000 years. Today this focus is driving the technological advances that are changing our world so dramatically.
This law says that achievement, wealth, happiness, prosperity and business success are all the direct and indirect effects or results of specific causes or actions. This simply means that, if you can be clear about the effect or result you want, you can probably achieve it. You can study others who have achieved the same goal, and by doing what they did, you can get the same results.
Success Is Not An Accident
Success is not a miracle. Nor is it a matter of luck. Everything happens for a reason, good or bad, positive or negative. When you are absolutely clear about what you want, you only need to copy others who have achieved it before you, and you will eventually get the same results that they have.
This is referred to in the Bible as the Law of Sowing and Reaping which says that, "Whatsoever a man soweth, that also shall he reap."
Sir Isaac Newton called it the third principle of motion. He said, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."
For you and I, the most important expression of this universal law is that, "Thoughts are causes and conditions are effects."
Put another way, "Thought is creative." Your thoughts are the primary creative forces in your life. You create your entire world by the way you think. All the people and situations of your life have only the meaning you give them by the way you think about them. And when you change your thinking, you change your life, sometimes in seconds!
The most important principle of personal or business success is simply this: You become what you think about most of the time.
This is the great discovery upon which all religions, philosophies, metaphysics, schools of thought and psychology are based. This principle is as applicable to individuals as it is to groups of individuals and organizations. Whatever you see or experience is the expression of the thinking of the people behind the phenomenon. Ralph Waldo Emerson recognized this when he wrote, "Every great organization is merely the lengthened shadow of a single man."
It is not what happens to you but how you think about what happens to you that determines how you feel and react. It is not the world outside of you that dictates your circumstances or conditions. It is the world inside you that creates the conditions of your life.
Your Choice, Your Life
You are always free to choose. In the long run, no one forces you to think, feel or behave the way you do. Rather, you choose your emotions and your behaviors by the way you choose to think about the world around you and how you choose to think about what is happening to you.
Dr. Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania calls this way of reacting, your "explanatory style." It is the way that you interpret or explain things to yourself. It is the critical determinant of everything you are and everything you become.
The good news is that your explanatory style is learned. This means that it can be unlearned as well. Your way of explaining things to yourself is under your control. You can interpret your experiences in such a way that you feel happy and optimistic rather than angry or frustrated. You can decide to react in such a way that your responses are constructive and effective. You decide which it is to be. And you are always free to choose.
Your thoughts and feelings are continually changing. They are quickly affected by the events around you. For example, when you receive a piece of good news, your attitude immediately brightens and you feel more positive toward everyone and everything. If, on the other hand, you unexpectedly receive some bad news, you can immediately become upset, angry and short tempered, even if the news is inaccurate or untrue. It is the way you interpret the event to yourself that determines how you react.
How You can Apply this Law Immediately:
Examine the most important parts of your life - your family, your health, your work, your financial situation, and observe the cause-effect relationships between what you think, say, feel and the results you are getting. Be honest with yourself.
Be absolutely honest. Analyze how you really think about yourself in relationship to the kind of life you are living. Think about how your thoughts in each area are causing, creating and maintaining the situation around you. What changes could you make in your thinking to improve the quality of some part of your life?
Four Basic Laws
There are four fundamental laws that flow directly from the Law of Cause and Effect. These laws underlie all the laws you will learn in this book. They explain most of the human experience, for better and for worse. All happiness and success comes from living in harmony with these four laws.
The big four are the laws of Belief, Expectations, Attraction and Correspondence. These are sub-laws of the Law of Cause and Effect that explain most success and achievement, most happiness and unhappiness, most prosperity and poverty in life.
2. The Law of Belief
Whatever you truly believe, with feeling, becomes your reality.
You always act in a manner consistent with your beliefs, especially your beliefs about yourself. Your beliefs act like a set of filters that screen out information that is inconsistent with them. You do not necessarily believe what you see but rather you see what you already believe. You reject information that contradicts what you have already decided to believe, whether or not your beliefs, your prejudices, are based on fact or fantasy.
The word "prejudice" means to pre-judge, to reach a conclusion in advance of any information, or even in spite of information, to the contrary. One of the best success strategies of all is for you to refrain from judging other people or situations until you have enough information to make an informed decision. Especially, you must refrain from prejudging yourself and your possibilities. Your most deeply entrenched beliefs about yourself and your abilities may not be true at all.
The worst beliefs you can have are "Self limiting beliefs." These exist whenever you believe yourself to be limited in some way. For example, you may think yourself to be less talented or capable than others. You may think that others are superior to you in some way. You may have fallen into the common trap of selling yourself short and settling for far less than you are truly capable of.
These self-limiting beliefs act like brakes on your potential. They hold you back. They generate the two greatest enemies of personal success doubt and fear. They paralyze you and cause you to hesitate to take the intelligent risks that are necessary for you to fulfill your true potential.
For you to progress, to move onward and upward in your life and your business, you must continually challenge your self-limiting beliefs. You must reject any thought or suggestion that you are limited in any way. You must accept as a basic principle that you are a no-limit person, and that what others have done, you can do as well.
When I was a young man, coming from a difficult upbringing, I fell into the mental trap of concluding that because other people were doing better than I was, they must be better or smarter than I was. I accidentally concluded that they were worth more than I was. I must therefore be worth less. This false belief held me back for years.
The fact is that no one is better than you are and no one is smarter than you are. If they are doing better, it is largely because they have developed their natural talents and abilities more than you have. They have learned the laws of cause and effect that apply to their lives and work before you have. And anything anyone else has done, within reason, you can probably do as well. You just need to learn how.
How You can Apply this Law Immediately:
Free your mind from doubt and fear. Imagine you have no limitations. What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail? If you had all the time, money, talent, skills and contacts you could ever want, what would you decide to do or be or have in your life?
Challenge the self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back? Most people are blind in this area. They need the honest feedback of someone who knows them and who will be honest with them. Go to someone you know and care about and ask him or her if he or she sees any beliefs that you might have that are causing you to perform below your potential.
3. The Law of Expectations
Whatever you expect, with confidence, becomes your own self-fulfilling prophecy.
You are always acting as a fortune-teller in your own life by the way you think and talk about how things are going to turn out. When you confidently expect good things to happen, good things usually happen to you. If you expect something negative to happen, you are usually not disappointed.
Your expectations have an inordinate effect on the people around you as well. What you expect from people and situations determines your attitude toward them more than any other factor, and people reflect your attitude right back at you, like a mirror, whether positive or negative.
Dr Robert Rosenthal of Harvard conducted dozens of controlled experiments over the years to test the power of the expectations of teachers on student performance. In his landmark book, "Pygmalion in the Classroom," he tells of case after case where teachers were told that a student, or sometimes a whole class, was extremely bright and was predicted to make a quantum leap in academic performance in the coming year.
Even though the students were chosen from the school population at large, as long as the teacher believed that the student or students were exceptional, and the teacher expected the student to do well, the students performed vastly better than other students in the same or similar classes, and vastly better than could have been predicted by previous grades or behavior.
In your own personal life, your expectations of your staff, your boss, your customers and even of your own future tend to come true. Your expectations exert a powerful influence on people and events, for good or for ill, so be careful!
How You can Apply this Law Immediately:
Expect the best! Assume the very best of intentions on the part of your staff and coworkers. Assume from the start that they want to do a good job, make good decisions and get good results. When things go wrong, as they do continually, instead of over-reacting, sit down with the other person in a spirit of friendliness and ask questions to determine exactly what happened. There is usually a good reason for everything.
Start at home. Tell your spouse and children on a regular basis that you believe in them, that you think they are wonderful, that you love them and that you are proud of them. David McClelland of Harvard found that the very best and happiest families, the families that produced the highest achieving children, were characterized as "positive expectations" families.
The parents continually fed their children a stream of positive messages, reaffirming how much they loved them and believed in them. No matter what happened in the short term, the children always knew that their parents were behind them one hundred percent. And they didnt disappoint their parents.
Practice these same behaviors with your staff and coworkers. The very best managers, entrepreneurs, and salespeople are "high expectations" people, with everyone, and in everything they do.
Expect the best of yourself. Imagine that you have unlimited potential and that you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. Imagine that your future is only limited by your own imagination, and that whatever you have accomplished up to now, it is only a small part of what you are truly capable of achieving. Imagine that your greatest moments lie ahead and that everything that has happened to you up to now has merely been a preparation for the great things that are yet to come.
4. The Law of Attraction
You are a living magnet; you invariably attract into your life the people, situations and circumstances that are in harmony with your dominant thoughts .
This is one of the great laws that explains much of success and failure in business and personal life. It has been written about as far back as the ancient Egyptian mystery schools, 3000 years before Christ. It is so powerful, pervasive and all encompassing that it affects everything you do or say, or even think or fee.
Everything you have in your life, you have attracted to yourself because of the way you think, because of the person you are. You can change your life because you can change the way you think. You can change the person you are.
You have heard it said, "Birds of a feather flock together." "Like attracts like." "Whatever you want, wants you." These are ways of expressing the Law of Attraction.
Your thoughts are extremely powerful. They are a form of mental energy that travels at the speed of light. They are so fine that they can go through any barrier. This is why, for example, you can think about a person, sometimes at a great distance, and in the next moment, the phone will ring and that person will be on the line. Your thoughts have connected with that person the moment you thought them.
Companies develop products, processes, services and ways of doing business that attract an entire constellation of customers, employees, suppliers, financiers and circumstances that are in harmony with the dominant thinking of the organization. It is as though every human ingredient inside and outside of the organization is a musical instrument. Together, they make up a great symphony. They are all playing together and creating a form of music that constitutes the activities of your business and your life.
Whenever things are not going well in any organization, the fastest way to bring about change is to bring in a new person who changes the way people think and feel about themselves and what they are doing. New values, new visions, new strategies and new policies toward customers and toward each other bring about rapid and often dramatic change.
How You can Apply this Law Immediately:
Engage in a rigorous process of self-analysis, self-examination. Look closely at the world around you and see how it harmonizes with your thinking. Take full credit for all the good things in your life. They are there because you have attracted them to yourself. Then, look around you at the things you dont like and take full responsibility for them, as well. They are there because of you, because of some flaw in your thinking. What is that flaw, and what are you going to do about it?
Look into yourself and ask, "What is it in me that is causing this situation?" Assume as a basic principle that you are the ongoing architect of your own life, your own destiny. You continually create what happens to you by the way you think. What changes do you need to make in your thinking if you want to change or improve some aspect of your life?
5. The Law of Correspondence
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world; it corresponds with your dominant patterns of thinking.
This is an extraordinary principle. It explains most happiness and unhappiness, most success and failure, most greatness and meanness in life. After years of study in this area, I still stand in awe before this powerful law, like standing and looking out over the vastness of the Grand Canyon.
Just think! Your outer world reflects your inner world in every way. Nothing can happen to or for you in the long term until and unless it corresponds to something inside of you. If you want to change or improve anything in your life, you must begin by changing the inner aspects of your mind.
Sometimes this is called the "mental equivalent." Your greatest responsibility in life is to create within yourself the mental equivalent of what you want to experience on the outside. The fact is that you cannot achieve it on the outside until you have first created it on the inside.
It is as though your life is a 360-degree mirror. Wherever you look, there you are. Your relationships for example, always reflect back to you the kind of person you are on the inside. Your attitude, your health and your material conditions are a reflection of the way you think most of the time.
This is hard for most people to accept. Most people think that the problems in their lives are caused by other people and circumstances. They are shocked and angered to be told that they are the primary architects of everything that happens to them. They want others to change. They want the world to change. But they do not want to change themselves.
The Law of Correspondence is a foundation principle of virtually all religions and schools of thought. It is really great news. It is the key to personal freedom and happiness. It is the high road to great success and fulfillment.
There is only one thing in the world that you can control, and that is the way you think. However, when you take complete control over your thinking, you take control over all the other aspects of your life. By thinking and talking only about what you want, and by refusing to think or talk about what you dont want, you become the architect of your own destiny.
How You can Apply this Law Immediately:
Look around you for examples where your outer world of experience is a reflection of your inner world of thought, emotions and belief. How does your current situation in your business or career reflect your innermost attitudes and convictions toward your company, your coworkers, your products and services, your customers and your goals? Be honest.
Begin today to build the consciousness, the mental equivalent, on the inside, of the life you want to enjoy on the outside. Visualize and imagine that your business and career was perfect in every respect. What changes do you need to make in your thinking to create your inner world in such a way that it is consistent with what you want to experience on the outside?
All the laws you will learn in this book are logical extensions of the Law of Cause and Effect, combined with the Laws of Belief, Expectations, Attraction and Correspondence. They contain a single message: if you change the quality of your thinking, you change the quality of your life.
Since there is no limit to how much better you can think, there is no real limit to how much better your life can be. Its totally up to you.
BY Dhanasekar
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Entrepreneurs
Why Networking With Other Entrepreneurs Is Vital And How You Can Become Involved In Networking
While successful entrepreneurs are typically independent self-starters, none of them are really able to make it solely and exclusively on their own. Any one interested in creating a successful business must realize that there is some truth in the adage “It isn’t what you know, but who you know.” You can have the most brilliant and innovative ideas ever but you would find it almost impossible to turn those into a successful business without good people around you.
What is Networking & Why Is It Important?
Networking means more than just talking to people. A successful business owner realizes that every moment of every day is an opportunity to network. A business associate of mine said to me recently that he loved going out to eat because it meant he was going to make money. He realized, as all successful people do, that when you are truly driven to create a business everything you do is an opportunity.
Whether you talk to people about your product or services or talk to people who may have great advice from their experience or talk to people to discover how they may fit as an employee; everything you do should be viewed as a way to help your business grow through interaction with others.
One of the most important parts of networking is to find and talk with other entrepreneurs. It doesn’t matter if the other entrepreneurs are even greener than you are or if they are already a massive success; all other people creating and running a business will have something you can use to help your own ventures..
Qualities Essential for Successful Entrepreneurship
It is important to recognize what qualities other successful business starters have that you should look for in a good networking contact. Take a look at a few distinct traits that you will find in every successful entrepreneur. These are qualities you should imbibe and aspire towards for successful networking, which will eventually lead to successful entrepreneurship
Self-Motivation: Successful entrepreneurs do not wait for someone else to tell them what to do. They dream their own dreams, formulate their own plans and move mountains to make their dreams come true. They do not wait for somebody else to make the first move. Instead, they are the initiators who are always one step ahead of everybody else in their journey towards successful entrepreneurship. They look for opportunities constantly and seize them as soon as they appear.
Fierce Passion: All successful entrepreneurs are fiercely passionate about making their dreams come true. It is this fierce passion that makes them take the risks they do and put in the hard work necessary to make things happen. They surround themselves with people who are equally passionate and have the same goals.
Desire to Overcome: Entrepreneurs who make it all love a big challenge. Often they actually enjoy overcoming an obstacle as much as they enjoy the reward that follows it. Facing challenges head on drives them. They like to test themselves and the boundaries set before them. They look at problems as opportunities to grow instead of as setbacks.
A “Never Give Up” Attitude: For a person to ever truly be a winner, they must have the attitude that they will never quit. Failures are viewed as temporary and never as an ultimate end. When face-to-face with obstacles, entrepreneurs do not give up their dreams; instead they find a way to overcome them. They use mistake and errors to become better at what they do instead of letting these impediments hinder them.
Unstinting Dedication: Entrepreneurs who make it are fully dedicated to their goal and will work hard to achieve it. You will not find a lazy bone in their body. While they fully understand that achieving and then maintaining success can be difficult, they are ready to meet the challenges ahead. They know even before they start out that reaching goals often requires extreme amounts of time, effort and unstinting dedication but they do not let this act as a deterrent in any way.
Ability to Bend: To fully run a business properly, the owner must intimately know every aspect of it intimately. Often, especially in the beginning, they will multi-task and get involved in doing various jobs themselves in an effort to get the feel of it. They are flexible enough to jump back and forth between different duties and responsibilities that are dependant upon what their business needs most at any given moment. They are also flexible enough to realize when it is time to bring in qualified reinforcements and hand some of the reigns over to others. Requirements change as times change and as a business grows. The best business starters are able to change as necessary without losing their own vision.
Loaded with Imagination: People that have the potential to make it big are extremely creative. The best solutions are rarely found within the usual status quo. They come up with unique ideas for products, services, advertising, marketing and even the most practical aspects of the job. They can take one bit of information and see its potential and creatively come up with ways to make it work within their own needs, wants and goals.
Goal Oriented: Being able to see success of the horizon and working toward that consistently is something all business successes share. They keep a positive attitude and simply don’t see failure as an option. No matter how bad things may get, they continue to fight toward the next step in making their dream come true. They are often even looked at as dreamers or unrealistic until they start to bring in results and a profit.
Independent: Every person who succeeds in creating a successful business is a leader and a solo artist at the core. It takes a certain kind of person to really be their own boss and get things done without constant direction from a superior. This does not mean they do not listen to good advice--quite the contrary. They are always listening to what others they admire have to say and even seek out good people through networking to receive advice. Their independence essentially implies that they are able to listen and then filter out the parts that work best for them and implement those things expeditiously.
Pay attention. Check out your competition and pay attention to what they’re doing. The key to being a successful business entrepreneur isn’t just focusing on your own business, but those businesses around you as well. See what type of advertising seems to be working well for them, and what locations bring the most business. See where fellow business owners are spending their time and energy and take a look into how it could work for you. It’s not cheating; it’s playing smart. Everything that exists today was created from people who saw one person’s idea and put a twist on it to make a new idea of their own. This doesn’t mean steal their customers or picket outside their stores, but you’ve heard the saying “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. The same applies in business, just be sure you play fair and stay on the right side of the law.
You will find all of these qualities in true entrepreneurs. Networking with as many of these types of people as possible and bringing out these qualities in yourself is a necessary base to any business venture.
Network! Network! Network! - A Few Basic Principles
While you can find successful entrepreneurs anywhere and everywhere, you need to make the effort to seek them out and make their acquaintance. You can make business acquaintances and network everywhere you go; there is really no such thing as knowing too many people when you want to see your business succeed.
Networking is not an exact science, but it can be simple if you just make yourself aware of its importance. Keep in mind though that there is a fine line between networking and imposing yourself on somebody else. Coming across as too forceful can cause people to want to stay away from you instead of being attracted to you and what you have to say.
The internet age has thrown up several new avenues for business networking through several sites, most notable of which are LinkedIn, WisdomBuilder and MySpace. Taking the time to explore these sites is well worth the efforts as it takes your networking efforts to newer horizons.
While successful entrepreneurs are typically independent self-starters, none of them are really able to make it solely and exclusively on their own. Any one interested in creating a successful business must realize that there is some truth in the adage “It isn’t what you know, but who you know.” You can have the most brilliant and innovative ideas ever but you would find it almost impossible to turn those into a successful business without good people around you.
What is Networking & Why Is It Important?
Networking means more than just talking to people. A successful business owner realizes that every moment of every day is an opportunity to network. A business associate of mine said to me recently that he loved going out to eat because it meant he was going to make money. He realized, as all successful people do, that when you are truly driven to create a business everything you do is an opportunity.
Whether you talk to people about your product or services or talk to people who may have great advice from their experience or talk to people to discover how they may fit as an employee; everything you do should be viewed as a way to help your business grow through interaction with others.
One of the most important parts of networking is to find and talk with other entrepreneurs. It doesn’t matter if the other entrepreneurs are even greener than you are or if they are already a massive success; all other people creating and running a business will have something you can use to help your own ventures..
Qualities Essential for Successful Entrepreneurship
It is important to recognize what qualities other successful business starters have that you should look for in a good networking contact. Take a look at a few distinct traits that you will find in every successful entrepreneur. These are qualities you should imbibe and aspire towards for successful networking, which will eventually lead to successful entrepreneurship
Self-Motivation: Successful entrepreneurs do not wait for someone else to tell them what to do. They dream their own dreams, formulate their own plans and move mountains to make their dreams come true. They do not wait for somebody else to make the first move. Instead, they are the initiators who are always one step ahead of everybody else in their journey towards successful entrepreneurship. They look for opportunities constantly and seize them as soon as they appear.
Fierce Passion: All successful entrepreneurs are fiercely passionate about making their dreams come true. It is this fierce passion that makes them take the risks they do and put in the hard work necessary to make things happen. They surround themselves with people who are equally passionate and have the same goals.
Desire to Overcome: Entrepreneurs who make it all love a big challenge. Often they actually enjoy overcoming an obstacle as much as they enjoy the reward that follows it. Facing challenges head on drives them. They like to test themselves and the boundaries set before them. They look at problems as opportunities to grow instead of as setbacks.
A “Never Give Up” Attitude: For a person to ever truly be a winner, they must have the attitude that they will never quit. Failures are viewed as temporary and never as an ultimate end. When face-to-face with obstacles, entrepreneurs do not give up their dreams; instead they find a way to overcome them. They use mistake and errors to become better at what they do instead of letting these impediments hinder them.
Unstinting Dedication: Entrepreneurs who make it are fully dedicated to their goal and will work hard to achieve it. You will not find a lazy bone in their body. While they fully understand that achieving and then maintaining success can be difficult, they are ready to meet the challenges ahead. They know even before they start out that reaching goals often requires extreme amounts of time, effort and unstinting dedication but they do not let this act as a deterrent in any way.
Ability to Bend: To fully run a business properly, the owner must intimately know every aspect of it intimately. Often, especially in the beginning, they will multi-task and get involved in doing various jobs themselves in an effort to get the feel of it. They are flexible enough to jump back and forth between different duties and responsibilities that are dependant upon what their business needs most at any given moment. They are also flexible enough to realize when it is time to bring in qualified reinforcements and hand some of the reigns over to others. Requirements change as times change and as a business grows. The best business starters are able to change as necessary without losing their own vision.
Loaded with Imagination: People that have the potential to make it big are extremely creative. The best solutions are rarely found within the usual status quo. They come up with unique ideas for products, services, advertising, marketing and even the most practical aspects of the job. They can take one bit of information and see its potential and creatively come up with ways to make it work within their own needs, wants and goals.
Goal Oriented: Being able to see success of the horizon and working toward that consistently is something all business successes share. They keep a positive attitude and simply don’t see failure as an option. No matter how bad things may get, they continue to fight toward the next step in making their dream come true. They are often even looked at as dreamers or unrealistic until they start to bring in results and a profit.
Independent: Every person who succeeds in creating a successful business is a leader and a solo artist at the core. It takes a certain kind of person to really be their own boss and get things done without constant direction from a superior. This does not mean they do not listen to good advice--quite the contrary. They are always listening to what others they admire have to say and even seek out good people through networking to receive advice. Their independence essentially implies that they are able to listen and then filter out the parts that work best for them and implement those things expeditiously.
Pay attention. Check out your competition and pay attention to what they’re doing. The key to being a successful business entrepreneur isn’t just focusing on your own business, but those businesses around you as well. See what type of advertising seems to be working well for them, and what locations bring the most business. See where fellow business owners are spending their time and energy and take a look into how it could work for you. It’s not cheating; it’s playing smart. Everything that exists today was created from people who saw one person’s idea and put a twist on it to make a new idea of their own. This doesn’t mean steal their customers or picket outside their stores, but you’ve heard the saying “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. The same applies in business, just be sure you play fair and stay on the right side of the law.
You will find all of these qualities in true entrepreneurs. Networking with as many of these types of people as possible and bringing out these qualities in yourself is a necessary base to any business venture.
Network! Network! Network! - A Few Basic Principles
While you can find successful entrepreneurs anywhere and everywhere, you need to make the effort to seek them out and make their acquaintance. You can make business acquaintances and network everywhere you go; there is really no such thing as knowing too many people when you want to see your business succeed.
Networking is not an exact science, but it can be simple if you just make yourself aware of its importance. Keep in mind though that there is a fine line between networking and imposing yourself on somebody else. Coming across as too forceful can cause people to want to stay away from you instead of being attracted to you and what you have to say.
The internet age has thrown up several new avenues for business networking through several sites, most notable of which are LinkedIn, WisdomBuilder and MySpace. Taking the time to explore these sites is well worth the efforts as it takes your networking efforts to newer horizons.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Becoming a Driver Not a passenger
When dealing with resistance, remember to keep your eye on your goal so that you don’t get too far off course. Setbacks are your opportunity to change your life—to meet those old ideas you have about yourself and move past them without letting them slow you down too much.
Don’t think it will necessarily be easy. Confronting these attitudes means tearing down parts of your belief system. This can be scary. After all, you’ve spent your whole life creating and embracing these beliefs. Everything you’ve done has been supported by them. You may even feel a sense of loyalty to them. If they say you don’t have the talent to accomplish your new goal, going ahead with it could feel like a betrayal or just a silly escapade that will eventually embarrass you and prove that your old beliefs are right.
It takes courage and persistence to confront the resistance you meet when you set a goal. It also requires directed movement. Do you have a map in your mind showing various ways to get from where you are now to where you want to be?
If you’ve never been somewhere before, a map is advantageous. It’s just as true when you set out to reach a goal. Unfortunately, people who speak about goal-setting often gloss over this part as if beginning the journey is the easiest aspect of reaching one’s goal.
Actually, it isn’t. I put it right up there with the first time you get behind the wheel of a car and have to turn left onto a busy highway from a parking lot. It seems impossible, and you put the car in reverse several times to back up and look for a better way out. But don’t be discouraged if it feels like you don’t have a clue in the beginning. Most people don’t. It’s only afterward when they’ve figured it out that clarity arrives, and they no longer remember being unsure of the steps along the way.
Be sure to stretch yourself! If you don’t, you will choose goals consistent with your beliefs about yourself. Such goals encounter little resistance and are easy to achieve. Stretching yourself increases your confidence as you meet setbacks so that you can continue on.
Even the nature of your goals may change. You may choose the scenic route rather than the freeway because you understand that the journey is more important than the destination. When you finally do reach your goal, you will already be making plans for the next journey. You will never be a passenger again!
Regards
Dhanasekar
Don’t think it will necessarily be easy. Confronting these attitudes means tearing down parts of your belief system. This can be scary. After all, you’ve spent your whole life creating and embracing these beliefs. Everything you’ve done has been supported by them. You may even feel a sense of loyalty to them. If they say you don’t have the talent to accomplish your new goal, going ahead with it could feel like a betrayal or just a silly escapade that will eventually embarrass you and prove that your old beliefs are right.
It takes courage and persistence to confront the resistance you meet when you set a goal. It also requires directed movement. Do you have a map in your mind showing various ways to get from where you are now to where you want to be?
If you’ve never been somewhere before, a map is advantageous. It’s just as true when you set out to reach a goal. Unfortunately, people who speak about goal-setting often gloss over this part as if beginning the journey is the easiest aspect of reaching one’s goal.
Actually, it isn’t. I put it right up there with the first time you get behind the wheel of a car and have to turn left onto a busy highway from a parking lot. It seems impossible, and you put the car in reverse several times to back up and look for a better way out. But don’t be discouraged if it feels like you don’t have a clue in the beginning. Most people don’t. It’s only afterward when they’ve figured it out that clarity arrives, and they no longer remember being unsure of the steps along the way.
Be sure to stretch yourself! If you don’t, you will choose goals consistent with your beliefs about yourself. Such goals encounter little resistance and are easy to achieve. Stretching yourself increases your confidence as you meet setbacks so that you can continue on.
Even the nature of your goals may change. You may choose the scenic route rather than the freeway because you understand that the journey is more important than the destination. When you finally do reach your goal, you will already be making plans for the next journey. You will never be a passenger again!
Regards
Dhanasekar
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Wake-up call
The world has changed and so have we—and in many ways for the better. Take a minute to reflect: You are stronger, more resilient and resourceful than you might’ve thought a year ago, right? While you’re taking that long look in the mirror, ask yourself these questions: Are your priorities in order? Do you have a firm grasp on those aspects of your life and business that you can control? What changes do you need to make?
Peak-performance coach Tony Robbins says crises and extreme stress can be useful for growth, learning and determining what really matters most to us. “Sometimes your worst day can be your best day if it produces a change,” he says. “There is something called post-traumatic growth. You don’t have to have post-traumatic stress. You can have growth come out of extreme stress.”
This economy has prompted many people to reappraise their lives, their goals, their priorities. Many can take pride in personal victories and comfort in knowing their priorities are in order. Others realize their perspectives are skewed, and they’re making changes.
In a survey conducted (read full results) in May by SUCCESS, readers overwhelmingly say they are: • Working harder to innovate and taking more risks to grow their businesses. • Making healthier eating choices and exercising more often. • More aware of their ability to prosper and create their own wealth. • Actively seeking new friends and connections and spending more time with family. Here are a few of their stories.
Taking Control of Your Dreams
“In the good times, it’s easy to do life in a mediocre way,” says Amy Renee Armstrong, 42, who admits she had always gone through the motions, never completely committing to her goals. The Sunnyvale, Calif., woman vowed to change her ways when her life changed: Once I get married, I’ll pay more attention to finances. Once I have children, I’ll be more responsible. But when neither of those things happened, Armstrong found herself stuck as the person she didn’t want to be.
It was the tough economic climate that made her realize her life wasn’t going to change on its own, and that if she had dreams and goals, she had better go after them. “Now that I have the opportunity to tighten my belt and take perspective, I can learn from it. I started feeding myself with positive things that pushed me in the direction I want to go.”
Armstrong’s first priority was to surround herself with positive, encouraging people. She began charting her goals: saving money to buy her first home, living a healthier lifestyle and losing weight, keeping a journal, and making stronger personal connections. And on her calendars, she included action steps toward achieving those goals.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at actually begin to change.” —Wayne Dyer
“I’ve grasped the reality that it isn’t too late,” says Armstrong, a medical assistant now taking evening classes in nutrition and health education. “As long as we’re still breathing, it isn’t too late to be what we want to be.”
Wayne Dyer, author of Excuses Begone!, agrees that changing your mindset is always possible. “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at actually begin to change. Mental health is about flexibility—it’s about having an awareness that, If this isn’t what I’m to be doing, I’ll do something else.”
Dyer says self-awareness that focuses upon the present is crucial during these economic times. “If you can have that relationship in the now, you’ll have a great relationship with life. Most of us have trained our mind to be anything but right here, right now,” he says.
“When you’re on the dance floor, the purpose of the dance isn’t to end up in a different place on the dance floor. The purpose is to enjoy every note,” he says. “Find a way to be fulfilled. Life is about feeling good.”
Strong in Body
Physical health is one of the few factors that are controllable despite the economy. Exercise helps relieve stress, boost energy and clear the mind to take on new challenges. Seeing positive results with your health also provides a confidence boost that translates to other aspects of life.
Matt Martin has seen these benefits as a result of his initiative to take charge of his health and well-being. Martin, 25, of Dallas, works full time at a bank, has a part-time job in retail and takes evening college courses toward a degree in business marketing. He could easily make excuses for not having time for fitness. “When I realized that exercising was preventing me from getting sick or getting injured, that’s important,” he says. “I’m decreasing medical bills and doctor’s office visits.”
Jillian Michaels, fitness trainer from NBC’s The Biggest Loser, endorses Martin’s strategy. “If you want to save money on your health and wellness costs, invest in preventative measures,” she says. Some prevention techniques include running or walking—both free and close to home—or eating healthier at low cost. She also suggests “killer, cost-free workouts,” such as incline walking, stair climbing or jump roping. “Every dollar you spend on prevention can save 80 down the road in treatment costs,” Michaels says.
For Martin and many Americans, time and cost can be factors hindering fitness goals. Martin invested in low-cost equipment like resistance bands and stability balls. “I’d always been active, but I’d found excuses not to go to the gym. Now, mine’s right there in my house.”
Martin’s goal is to be strong in body and mind. The development of your mind as a healthy, physically fit person is essential, says Shawn Phillips, author and life-performance expert. “Are we waiting for the country to get healthy and strong again— or are we beginning with ourselves? A stronger, healthier you, with more confidence and health and well-being, makes for a stronger country. You control your own square inches!”
For those new to working out, Phillips suggests starting in doable doses: “Your first move is to do something,” he says. “Your second move is to give it some structure.” Make a checklist of all the exercises you want to do. Get involved in group exercise, so you’re socially committed and accountable. Develop the confidence to believe you can achieve your fitness goals, because you’re in control.
“It takes so little activity to get a tremendous return on your investment,” says Dr. Kenneth Cooper, chairman and founder of the Cooper Aerobics Center. Even those struggling with weight can get great benefits from 30 minutes of activity a day, Cooper says. “Exercise will help your blood pressure, your cholesterol and your aerobic capabilities.” It’s also a way to ward off “recession obesity,” resulting from seemingly cheaper high-calorie, high-fat choices.
On a budget, Martin says he buys plenty of produce, which is generally less expensive than processed foods. And, he changed his mindset so that nutrition and fitness were positive parts of his day. “Sometimes, I cheat and have a piece of pizza,” he admits. “But, I know I’m going to reward myself with a workout. I consider working out a reward, just like I reward myself with good food. If you have a healthy mentality, you’ll have a healthy life.”
The Heart of the Matter
As the economy began faltering last year, Tara Kennedy-Kline thought the best thing she could do for her family was to continue working 60 hours a week, often traveling overnight for business. Husband Chris was equally preoccupied with work.
Home life was chaotic. Her 10-year-old, Max, competed for attention with exaggerated stories, while 8-year-old Alex, who has a form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome, would withdraw into a video game or book until he unexpectedly exploded in a tantrum. Kennedy-Kline angered quickly as the decibel levels increased.
Then Kennedy-Kline got laid off last October. “When I was forced into a situation where I wasn’t given a choice, I realized my family needed me more than they need a paycheck.”
Many other people have experienced similar wake-up calls, realizing the satisfaction derived from their careers and material possessions can be fleeting, while strong relationships endure, through good times and bad. Family and close friends provide comfort, compassion and stability, especially as the world seems to teeter out of control.
For Richard Rosser, a South Florida-based entrepreneur, the challenging economic times have reinforced his deepening relationships with his family. He and his wife, Susan, who have two young children, started a marketing company three years ago that has thrived. Yet, today’s challenges give Rosser pause to think about other storms that could come their way. He already had recognized that he couldn’t have a better partner than Susan in business or life. “I had already made a conscious decision that what I had at home was pretty good, and the tough economy has reinforced that,” he says. “It’s about being in this together. It’s about working together.”
International speaker and life coach Amanda Gore says hard times show us how wonderful the “little things” in life are. “Hardship reminds us to reconnect our heads and our hearts, and our hearts with other people’s hearts,” she says. “There is nothing more important than that!”
“Families thought happiness came from buying stuff—the more we had, the happier we would be,” Gore says. “Now, we have more time together as a family because we can’t afford to have everyone running around doing different things, like eating out or shopping. We can focus on the truly important things in life—like love, connections and contributing.”
Kennedy-Kline realized how desperate her situation was when Alex had another meltdown, screaming and crying, telling her she was “the worst mother ever.” Kennedy-Kline resisted her first urge to reprimand him. Instead, she counted silently to three and said, “I’m listening to you.”
He couldn’t believe it, “No one ever listens to me,” he said.
Her heart broke. “If you wanted to be heard in our house, you had to have a bigger voice. Alex often retreated within himself,” she says.
Since then, the family has made an effort to improve communication and understanding. They eat dinner together, taking turns talking. Before bedtime, she spends time journaling with the boys, encouraging them to express their thoughts.
Kennedy-Kline also started a business from her home in southeastern Pa. Tara’s Toy Box sells children’s items to corporate charities.
And Alex, who once rarely communicated except through fi ts of rage, now shares his dreams. “Alex wants to be an astronaut so he can build a roller coaster on the moon,” his mom says. “My response to him now is, You could probably do that. There’s no reason he can’t do the things he dreams.”
Rich Life
Erin Al-Mehairi’s friends and family thought she was crazy. Why, in the midst of such an unstable economy, would the working mother of three quit her hospital public relations job of seven years to start her own business? Simple—layoffs and across-the-board pay cuts were shattering morale. “I wasn’t going to make excuses or talk myself into staying,” says Al-Mehairi, 34. “I had to do what was right for me to be successful. I realized that having a job does not define me. I define me.”
So she joined the rank and file of entrepreneurs taking control of their income and, ultimately, their destiny. Al-Mehairi founded her own PR firm, Addison’s Compass, named for her 2-year-old daughter, which offers public relations and marketing services for businesses in her small Amish-country town of Ashland, Ohio.
Al-Mehairi is like many entrepreneurs who recognize that the recession provides opportunities for creating their own prosperity. Richard and Susan Rossersay last year was their best so far for their 3-year-old marketing business. “Just because there are layoffs doesn’t mean people don’t need the kind of work we do—they’re just outsourcing it,” he says. The Rossers recently started a regional online magazine called East and have plans to expand in other metropolitan areas.
“A recession is a great opportunity to build wealth and create your own economic prosperity plan,” says author David Bach, whose new book Fight for Your Money: How to Stop Getting Ripped Off and Save a Fortune is his seventh-consecutive best-seller. “What the recession has taught us is that now is a time to get excited because you can use a recession to your advantage.”
Bach says tough economic times help strengthen our entrepreneurial muscle. “Starting your own business in a recession is like running against the wind,” he says with the enthusiasm and vigor of a personal trainer motivating his weary client. “If you’re training for a marathon by running with the wind, what are you going to do when you have to run against the wind? You have to run against the wind to learn how to run hard, lean and mean.”
He continues the metaphor, “Anyone can succeed in a growing economy. But succeeding in a recession means, when things turn around, you’re positioned for explosive growth.” That’s why Bach says business owners who are creating their own income and prosperity are a great example of lessons we’ve learned in the recession. “If you’re willing to work in a recession like nobody is, then you’ll experience boom times like nobody else does.”
“A recession is a great opportunity to build wealth and create your own economic prosperity plan.” —David Bach
Al-Mehairi includes her two oldest children, 9-year-old Nassem and 5-year-old Emma, who help stuff bags and pass out promotional materials at events. “I hope by including them in my business, I’m setting a good example for them to become their own business owners one day,” she says.
So, with her entrepreneurial spirit and strong work ethic as her “compass,” Al-Mehairi says she loves her new direction. “I am happy and prospering. I love where my life is going!”
Better Business
The positive effects of a recession may sound like an oxymoron, but experts say there are valuable lessons we’ve learned in this downturn that will make businesses stronger in the long run.
Consider the following:
We’ve gotten back to basics. Take it from the man who co-authored that yellowing, dog-eared copy of In Search of Excellence on your bookshelf: “The basics are the basics are the basics,” Tom Peters writes on his tenured management blog simply titled Tom Peters! “We get in trouble when we forget the basics. We get out of trouble when we remember the basics.”
Peters teamed with Bob Waterman in 1982 on the little book that said America was in deep trouble because we failed to put people first, listen to our customers and make products that worked at the top of our business agendas.
“Survival—even growth!—in bad times comes from having wildly ‘over’-invested in relationships and training and service and employee-customer-vendor loyalty, while behaving in a fiscally prudent manner in good times,” Peters writes.
We’re open to opportunities that may come—even as blessings in disguise. Self-professed geek Bryan Hefner of Williamsburg, Va., was working long hours in the technology sector when his employer closed the company’s local office. Hefner raised his hand to become a part-time remote employee. What could have been a layoff became a win-win opportunity.
“I love technology!” Hefner says. “When my 6-year-old daughter gets off the bus in the afternoon, I’m here to greet her.” And, in his spare time, he’s polishing his entrepreneurial skills to prepare for new endeavors. “There is tremendous opportunity out there when you look for it.”
We’re forced to be our best, even in the worst times. “Sometimes, we have to get pushed out of the nest in order to fly,” says syndicated radio host and financial expert Dave Ramsey, whose drawling witticisms on personal finance, government and best practices attract an audience of millions. “There’s a lot of eagles out there that hadn’t spread their wings in a while.” He describes these eagles as bosses who, perhaps, got comfortable in their “golden handcuffs”; good employees who left good enough alone and didn’t strive for great; and businesses that got away from doing what made them their first buck.
“Whether they’re starting a new business or expanding their vision in this new economy, now, all of a sudden, I’m seeing these eagles soaring,” Ramsey says. “Their creative juices are fl owing again; they’re smiling again; they’re happy again. These are the right kinds of people that see this recession as an opportunity to improve. And this is the kind of fabulous talent that is out there, that you want in your business.”
Peak-performance coach Tony Robbins says crises and extreme stress can be useful for growth, learning and determining what really matters most to us. “Sometimes your worst day can be your best day if it produces a change,” he says. “There is something called post-traumatic growth. You don’t have to have post-traumatic stress. You can have growth come out of extreme stress.”
This economy has prompted many people to reappraise their lives, their goals, their priorities. Many can take pride in personal victories and comfort in knowing their priorities are in order. Others realize their perspectives are skewed, and they’re making changes.
In a survey conducted (read full results) in May by SUCCESS, readers overwhelmingly say they are: • Working harder to innovate and taking more risks to grow their businesses. • Making healthier eating choices and exercising more often. • More aware of their ability to prosper and create their own wealth. • Actively seeking new friends and connections and spending more time with family. Here are a few of their stories.
Taking Control of Your Dreams
“In the good times, it’s easy to do life in a mediocre way,” says Amy Renee Armstrong, 42, who admits she had always gone through the motions, never completely committing to her goals. The Sunnyvale, Calif., woman vowed to change her ways when her life changed: Once I get married, I’ll pay more attention to finances. Once I have children, I’ll be more responsible. But when neither of those things happened, Armstrong found herself stuck as the person she didn’t want to be.
It was the tough economic climate that made her realize her life wasn’t going to change on its own, and that if she had dreams and goals, she had better go after them. “Now that I have the opportunity to tighten my belt and take perspective, I can learn from it. I started feeding myself with positive things that pushed me in the direction I want to go.”
Armstrong’s first priority was to surround herself with positive, encouraging people. She began charting her goals: saving money to buy her first home, living a healthier lifestyle and losing weight, keeping a journal, and making stronger personal connections. And on her calendars, she included action steps toward achieving those goals.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at actually begin to change.” —Wayne Dyer
“I’ve grasped the reality that it isn’t too late,” says Armstrong, a medical assistant now taking evening classes in nutrition and health education. “As long as we’re still breathing, it isn’t too late to be what we want to be.”
Wayne Dyer, author of Excuses Begone!, agrees that changing your mindset is always possible. “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at actually begin to change. Mental health is about flexibility—it’s about having an awareness that, If this isn’t what I’m to be doing, I’ll do something else.”
Dyer says self-awareness that focuses upon the present is crucial during these economic times. “If you can have that relationship in the now, you’ll have a great relationship with life. Most of us have trained our mind to be anything but right here, right now,” he says.
“When you’re on the dance floor, the purpose of the dance isn’t to end up in a different place on the dance floor. The purpose is to enjoy every note,” he says. “Find a way to be fulfilled. Life is about feeling good.”
Strong in Body
Physical health is one of the few factors that are controllable despite the economy. Exercise helps relieve stress, boost energy and clear the mind to take on new challenges. Seeing positive results with your health also provides a confidence boost that translates to other aspects of life.
Matt Martin has seen these benefits as a result of his initiative to take charge of his health and well-being. Martin, 25, of Dallas, works full time at a bank, has a part-time job in retail and takes evening college courses toward a degree in business marketing. He could easily make excuses for not having time for fitness. “When I realized that exercising was preventing me from getting sick or getting injured, that’s important,” he says. “I’m decreasing medical bills and doctor’s office visits.”
Jillian Michaels, fitness trainer from NBC’s The Biggest Loser, endorses Martin’s strategy. “If you want to save money on your health and wellness costs, invest in preventative measures,” she says. Some prevention techniques include running or walking—both free and close to home—or eating healthier at low cost. She also suggests “killer, cost-free workouts,” such as incline walking, stair climbing or jump roping. “Every dollar you spend on prevention can save 80 down the road in treatment costs,” Michaels says.
For Martin and many Americans, time and cost can be factors hindering fitness goals. Martin invested in low-cost equipment like resistance bands and stability balls. “I’d always been active, but I’d found excuses not to go to the gym. Now, mine’s right there in my house.”
Martin’s goal is to be strong in body and mind. The development of your mind as a healthy, physically fit person is essential, says Shawn Phillips, author and life-performance expert. “Are we waiting for the country to get healthy and strong again— or are we beginning with ourselves? A stronger, healthier you, with more confidence and health and well-being, makes for a stronger country. You control your own square inches!”
For those new to working out, Phillips suggests starting in doable doses: “Your first move is to do something,” he says. “Your second move is to give it some structure.” Make a checklist of all the exercises you want to do. Get involved in group exercise, so you’re socially committed and accountable. Develop the confidence to believe you can achieve your fitness goals, because you’re in control.
“It takes so little activity to get a tremendous return on your investment,” says Dr. Kenneth Cooper, chairman and founder of the Cooper Aerobics Center. Even those struggling with weight can get great benefits from 30 minutes of activity a day, Cooper says. “Exercise will help your blood pressure, your cholesterol and your aerobic capabilities.” It’s also a way to ward off “recession obesity,” resulting from seemingly cheaper high-calorie, high-fat choices.
On a budget, Martin says he buys plenty of produce, which is generally less expensive than processed foods. And, he changed his mindset so that nutrition and fitness were positive parts of his day. “Sometimes, I cheat and have a piece of pizza,” he admits. “But, I know I’m going to reward myself with a workout. I consider working out a reward, just like I reward myself with good food. If you have a healthy mentality, you’ll have a healthy life.”
The Heart of the Matter
As the economy began faltering last year, Tara Kennedy-Kline thought the best thing she could do for her family was to continue working 60 hours a week, often traveling overnight for business. Husband Chris was equally preoccupied with work.
Home life was chaotic. Her 10-year-old, Max, competed for attention with exaggerated stories, while 8-year-old Alex, who has a form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome, would withdraw into a video game or book until he unexpectedly exploded in a tantrum. Kennedy-Kline angered quickly as the decibel levels increased.
Then Kennedy-Kline got laid off last October. “When I was forced into a situation where I wasn’t given a choice, I realized my family needed me more than they need a paycheck.”
Many other people have experienced similar wake-up calls, realizing the satisfaction derived from their careers and material possessions can be fleeting, while strong relationships endure, through good times and bad. Family and close friends provide comfort, compassion and stability, especially as the world seems to teeter out of control.
For Richard Rosser, a South Florida-based entrepreneur, the challenging economic times have reinforced his deepening relationships with his family. He and his wife, Susan, who have two young children, started a marketing company three years ago that has thrived. Yet, today’s challenges give Rosser pause to think about other storms that could come their way. He already had recognized that he couldn’t have a better partner than Susan in business or life. “I had already made a conscious decision that what I had at home was pretty good, and the tough economy has reinforced that,” he says. “It’s about being in this together. It’s about working together.”
International speaker and life coach Amanda Gore says hard times show us how wonderful the “little things” in life are. “Hardship reminds us to reconnect our heads and our hearts, and our hearts with other people’s hearts,” she says. “There is nothing more important than that!”
“Families thought happiness came from buying stuff—the more we had, the happier we would be,” Gore says. “Now, we have more time together as a family because we can’t afford to have everyone running around doing different things, like eating out or shopping. We can focus on the truly important things in life—like love, connections and contributing.”
Kennedy-Kline realized how desperate her situation was when Alex had another meltdown, screaming and crying, telling her she was “the worst mother ever.” Kennedy-Kline resisted her first urge to reprimand him. Instead, she counted silently to three and said, “I’m listening to you.”
He couldn’t believe it, “No one ever listens to me,” he said.
Her heart broke. “If you wanted to be heard in our house, you had to have a bigger voice. Alex often retreated within himself,” she says.
Since then, the family has made an effort to improve communication and understanding. They eat dinner together, taking turns talking. Before bedtime, she spends time journaling with the boys, encouraging them to express their thoughts.
Kennedy-Kline also started a business from her home in southeastern Pa. Tara’s Toy Box sells children’s items to corporate charities.
And Alex, who once rarely communicated except through fi ts of rage, now shares his dreams. “Alex wants to be an astronaut so he can build a roller coaster on the moon,” his mom says. “My response to him now is, You could probably do that. There’s no reason he can’t do the things he dreams.”
Rich Life
Erin Al-Mehairi’s friends and family thought she was crazy. Why, in the midst of such an unstable economy, would the working mother of three quit her hospital public relations job of seven years to start her own business? Simple—layoffs and across-the-board pay cuts were shattering morale. “I wasn’t going to make excuses or talk myself into staying,” says Al-Mehairi, 34. “I had to do what was right for me to be successful. I realized that having a job does not define me. I define me.”
So she joined the rank and file of entrepreneurs taking control of their income and, ultimately, their destiny. Al-Mehairi founded her own PR firm, Addison’s Compass, named for her 2-year-old daughter, which offers public relations and marketing services for businesses in her small Amish-country town of Ashland, Ohio.
Al-Mehairi is like many entrepreneurs who recognize that the recession provides opportunities for creating their own prosperity. Richard and Susan Rossersay last year was their best so far for their 3-year-old marketing business. “Just because there are layoffs doesn’t mean people don’t need the kind of work we do—they’re just outsourcing it,” he says. The Rossers recently started a regional online magazine called East and have plans to expand in other metropolitan areas.
“A recession is a great opportunity to build wealth and create your own economic prosperity plan,” says author David Bach, whose new book Fight for Your Money: How to Stop Getting Ripped Off and Save a Fortune is his seventh-consecutive best-seller. “What the recession has taught us is that now is a time to get excited because you can use a recession to your advantage.”
Bach says tough economic times help strengthen our entrepreneurial muscle. “Starting your own business in a recession is like running against the wind,” he says with the enthusiasm and vigor of a personal trainer motivating his weary client. “If you’re training for a marathon by running with the wind, what are you going to do when you have to run against the wind? You have to run against the wind to learn how to run hard, lean and mean.”
He continues the metaphor, “Anyone can succeed in a growing economy. But succeeding in a recession means, when things turn around, you’re positioned for explosive growth.” That’s why Bach says business owners who are creating their own income and prosperity are a great example of lessons we’ve learned in the recession. “If you’re willing to work in a recession like nobody is, then you’ll experience boom times like nobody else does.”
“A recession is a great opportunity to build wealth and create your own economic prosperity plan.” —David Bach
Al-Mehairi includes her two oldest children, 9-year-old Nassem and 5-year-old Emma, who help stuff bags and pass out promotional materials at events. “I hope by including them in my business, I’m setting a good example for them to become their own business owners one day,” she says.
So, with her entrepreneurial spirit and strong work ethic as her “compass,” Al-Mehairi says she loves her new direction. “I am happy and prospering. I love where my life is going!”
Better Business
The positive effects of a recession may sound like an oxymoron, but experts say there are valuable lessons we’ve learned in this downturn that will make businesses stronger in the long run.
Consider the following:
We’ve gotten back to basics. Take it from the man who co-authored that yellowing, dog-eared copy of In Search of Excellence on your bookshelf: “The basics are the basics are the basics,” Tom Peters writes on his tenured management blog simply titled Tom Peters! “We get in trouble when we forget the basics. We get out of trouble when we remember the basics.”
Peters teamed with Bob Waterman in 1982 on the little book that said America was in deep trouble because we failed to put people first, listen to our customers and make products that worked at the top of our business agendas.
“Survival—even growth!—in bad times comes from having wildly ‘over’-invested in relationships and training and service and employee-customer-vendor loyalty, while behaving in a fiscally prudent manner in good times,” Peters writes.
We’re open to opportunities that may come—even as blessings in disguise. Self-professed geek Bryan Hefner of Williamsburg, Va., was working long hours in the technology sector when his employer closed the company’s local office. Hefner raised his hand to become a part-time remote employee. What could have been a layoff became a win-win opportunity.
“I love technology!” Hefner says. “When my 6-year-old daughter gets off the bus in the afternoon, I’m here to greet her.” And, in his spare time, he’s polishing his entrepreneurial skills to prepare for new endeavors. “There is tremendous opportunity out there when you look for it.”
We’re forced to be our best, even in the worst times. “Sometimes, we have to get pushed out of the nest in order to fly,” says syndicated radio host and financial expert Dave Ramsey, whose drawling witticisms on personal finance, government and best practices attract an audience of millions. “There’s a lot of eagles out there that hadn’t spread their wings in a while.” He describes these eagles as bosses who, perhaps, got comfortable in their “golden handcuffs”; good employees who left good enough alone and didn’t strive for great; and businesses that got away from doing what made them their first buck.
“Whether they’re starting a new business or expanding their vision in this new economy, now, all of a sudden, I’m seeing these eagles soaring,” Ramsey says. “Their creative juices are fl owing again; they’re smiling again; they’re happy again. These are the right kinds of people that see this recession as an opportunity to improve. And this is the kind of fabulous talent that is out there, that you want in your business.”
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tips for Building Your Self Esteem
Self esteem is a personality ingredient that one has to have and if possible in great amounts. That is not to say that a person need to be extremely sure of oneself to the point of arrogance; they just need enough amounts to be able to withstand the pressures of life and lead a contented existence.
It wouldn’t make much difference if self esteem can be measured.
This is because there is really no specific amount of self esteem that one can be prescribed with. Different persons need different amounts of self-esteem the same way that different dynamics or aspects of one person’s life require different doses of self esteem. There is really no specific amount. In fact, different situations also demand different amounts of self-esteem.
Whatever the amounts that you need, there is no argument that one needs self esteem. It is basically developed during the growing up years in the way we are treated by our parents and the people around us. Parental treatment and social group interaction play major roles in the development of self esteem. But that is not to say that self esteem will be a permanent fixture come adulthood. It can still be developed and enhanced, no matter what the age is.
Below are some tips in how to develop the self esteem, techniques that can work across all ages. Read on and you might get a thing or two that you can apply in your own life or with other people.
Self-affirmation
There is a difference between self-love and narcissism. Although it is not recommended to become obsessed with one’s positive qualities, it is not wrong to once in a while acknowledge our achievements and talents. Self-affirmation is a great way to increase our self esteem levels. Telling yourself that you are great in front of the mirror every morning may seem too much but it actually works in increasing one’s self-confidence.
Of course, you don’t have to take self-affirmation to the extreme if you don’t want to. Sometimes acknowledging the little achievements that you have done at the end of the day is enough to raise the rate of self-esteem.
Doing the things that you love
There is no aphrodisiac that would make you love yourself more than doing the things that you love. When you love what you are doing, you become happier and more enthusiastic. You will also become more interested in developing your skills, thereby improving yourself and allowing you to trust yourself more. Besides, if you are happy with what you are doing, you are more confident with your decisions and your actions.
Voicing out
There is something quite liberating with voicing out your own opinions and speaking your mind. Although there are some people who would try to put you down and argue with what you believe in; there are still people who will respect you for your thoughts. Acknowledging your thoughts and becoming comfortable with your thoughts will allow you to slowly trust yourself; thus increasing your self esteem.
Accepting that you are not perfect
There is no perfect person in the world. Often, people develop low self esteem because they try so much to become perfect; but one thing that they have to learn is that they cannot become one because there is no perfect person. All they can be is the best that they can be.
It wouldn’t make much difference if self esteem can be measured.
This is because there is really no specific amount of self esteem that one can be prescribed with. Different persons need different amounts of self-esteem the same way that different dynamics or aspects of one person’s life require different doses of self esteem. There is really no specific amount. In fact, different situations also demand different amounts of self-esteem.
Whatever the amounts that you need, there is no argument that one needs self esteem. It is basically developed during the growing up years in the way we are treated by our parents and the people around us. Parental treatment and social group interaction play major roles in the development of self esteem. But that is not to say that self esteem will be a permanent fixture come adulthood. It can still be developed and enhanced, no matter what the age is.
Below are some tips in how to develop the self esteem, techniques that can work across all ages. Read on and you might get a thing or two that you can apply in your own life or with other people.
Self-affirmation
There is a difference between self-love and narcissism. Although it is not recommended to become obsessed with one’s positive qualities, it is not wrong to once in a while acknowledge our achievements and talents. Self-affirmation is a great way to increase our self esteem levels. Telling yourself that you are great in front of the mirror every morning may seem too much but it actually works in increasing one’s self-confidence.
Of course, you don’t have to take self-affirmation to the extreme if you don’t want to. Sometimes acknowledging the little achievements that you have done at the end of the day is enough to raise the rate of self-esteem.
Doing the things that you love
There is no aphrodisiac that would make you love yourself more than doing the things that you love. When you love what you are doing, you become happier and more enthusiastic. You will also become more interested in developing your skills, thereby improving yourself and allowing you to trust yourself more. Besides, if you are happy with what you are doing, you are more confident with your decisions and your actions.
Voicing out
There is something quite liberating with voicing out your own opinions and speaking your mind. Although there are some people who would try to put you down and argue with what you believe in; there are still people who will respect you for your thoughts. Acknowledging your thoughts and becoming comfortable with your thoughts will allow you to slowly trust yourself; thus increasing your self esteem.
Accepting that you are not perfect
There is no perfect person in the world. Often, people develop low self esteem because they try so much to become perfect; but one thing that they have to learn is that they cannot become one because there is no perfect person. All they can be is the best that they can be.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Your Perfect Day
Just recorded the latest video for The Monthly Coach program I do. One of the pieces was on "The Perfect Day". While nothing's perfect in business and in life, recording what your ideal day looks like is a smart move. Because with greater clarity comes better choices.
What was the best day you've had in the past 12 months? What made it so special - and unforgettable? What things were you doing that time that gave you those superior results? Once you know what works, you can set about doing them with greater consistency. And consistency is the generator of Mastery.
Here are 4 recommendations for a perfect day:
1. Get up early. Getting up early is a gift you give yourself - once you install the habit. Yes, that's hard at first but after a few weeks you'll have more time for yourself every morning - time to think/read/visualize/exercise and set yourself up for superb results.
2. Run a schedule. I write more about this in The Greatness Guide where I say: "The things that get scheduled are the things that get done." Success and happiness don't happen by accident. No, they occur through conscious choice. Schedule your priorities and the most important things in your life so you can get them done.
3. Stand in Gratitude. While there are so many things you could do to ensure a great/perfect day, I find spending even 5 minutes in gratitude reshapes the way I perceive my day. Please remember, stress and gratitude can't share the same room. And you'll see more of what you pay attention to. So focus on best and block out the rest.
4. Growth. Much as we resist change, the fact is human beings are happiest when we are growing. To live perfect days, do things that move you out of your comfort zone and into your Discomfort Zone. A day with zero growth is a day unfully lived. Fears faced die speedy deaths.
BY dhanasekar
What was the best day you've had in the past 12 months? What made it so special - and unforgettable? What things were you doing that time that gave you those superior results? Once you know what works, you can set about doing them with greater consistency. And consistency is the generator of Mastery.
Here are 4 recommendations for a perfect day:
1. Get up early. Getting up early is a gift you give yourself - once you install the habit. Yes, that's hard at first but after a few weeks you'll have more time for yourself every morning - time to think/read/visualize/exercise and set yourself up for superb results.
2. Run a schedule. I write more about this in The Greatness Guide where I say: "The things that get scheduled are the things that get done." Success and happiness don't happen by accident. No, they occur through conscious choice. Schedule your priorities and the most important things in your life so you can get them done.
3. Stand in Gratitude. While there are so many things you could do to ensure a great/perfect day, I find spending even 5 minutes in gratitude reshapes the way I perceive my day. Please remember, stress and gratitude can't share the same room. And you'll see more of what you pay attention to. So focus on best and block out the rest.
4. Growth. Much as we resist change, the fact is human beings are happiest when we are growing. To live perfect days, do things that move you out of your comfort zone and into your Discomfort Zone. A day with zero growth is a day unfully lived. Fears faced die speedy deaths.
BY dhanasekar
Thursday, July 9, 2009
THE BEST HABITS OF EXCELLENT LEADERS
You know you need zero title to show up at leadership - both within your work and at your home. I've been in the trenches - developing Leaders Without Titles within organizations - for nearly 15 years. Here are some of the personal habits I've seen the best of the best model:
1. They ask brilliant questions.
2. They are fit like athletes (as I mentioned on Twitter the other day "Your #1 business asset is your health".)
3. They are direct/clear/authentic communicators
4. They read (The best leaders have the biggest libraries! Read to Win).
5. They keep journals to record good ideas, lessons learned and dreams to be executed on.
6. The run their own race. Leadership isn't about following the mob and being like everyone else. That's followership.
7. They are ethical - maintaining pristine reputations.
8. They lead where they are planted, deeply understanding that leadership is a way of behaving versus a title on a business card.
By dhanasekar
1. They ask brilliant questions.
2. They are fit like athletes (as I mentioned on Twitter the other day "Your #1 business asset is your health".)
3. They are direct/clear/authentic communicators
4. They read (The best leaders have the biggest libraries! Read to Win).
5. They keep journals to record good ideas, lessons learned and dreams to be executed on.
6. The run their own race. Leadership isn't about following the mob and being like everyone else. That's followership.
7. They are ethical - maintaining pristine reputations.
8. They lead where they are planted, deeply understanding that leadership is a way of behaving versus a title on a business card.
By dhanasekar
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