The four riders of conflict

Business has become a human venture. Mastering communication is essential for leadership success. However, despite our best effort to speak clearly we often end up off-side in our conversations. In the complex anatomy of communication there are four simple yet powerful conversation stoppers. I call them the Four Riders of Conflict: Always. Never. Everything. Nothing.

Always and Never are absolute conclusions built on the past or assumptions about the future. Nobody likes to hear absolutes. Why? Because they simply aren’t true. "You’re always late for work" or “results never improve” swings the door wide open for heated debate and justification. The debate prevents us from having a productive conversation about the real problem. Everything and Nothing operate in the same way. These two words lack validity, robbing us of our leadership credibility.

Leaders host productive conversations. Train your brain to drop the Four Riders of Conflict. Use laser like accuracy. Be specific. Precision is a defining characteristic of great leadership.

Your Opportunity for Impact

When hardship hits most people instinctively react with “what will happen to me? My family? My stock?” Our first instinct is to pull in, protect, and preserve our domains. It’s human nature. However, if we act only upon this line of thinking we end up following fear down an extremely narrow street, setting limitations on our lives.

In the new world we live in, the leaders who put people before profit will have the greatest impact. Those who believe in caring for the people first will win. Life has a very fair accounting system. Your return equals your investment. As much as it flies in the face of instinct, the difficult times are the exact times to be generous. Be generous with your time. Give away your gifts. Be philanthropic with your attention. Now is the time to pay it forward – to reinvest those acts of kindness done for you back into the social accounting system.

Here’s your opportunity for impact:

1. Look around, who needs a hand? It might be a teammate, peer or a customer. Show some real leadership.

2. What action can you take immediately to influence their situation? What would make a difference? A coffee and a heart to heart talk. The afternoon off. A hand written note. Tickets to tonight’s game. Money in their parking meter.

3. Remember small acts carry deep meaning. Paying it forward only needs to cost you creativity and good will. The monetary value is not the point.

Paying it forward is an invaluable investment hiding in plain sight. Look for your daily opportunity for impact.

best business books for this week.

“We did not come to fear the future. We came here to shape it.”

--President Barack Obama, closing out his speech to the American people on healthcare reform and the need for change.


In his speech this week, President Obama was effective in presenting the facts and making a compelling case for healthcare reform. His appeal was bi-partisan in nature and was an attempt to repair the increasingly polarized political climate in Washington and throughout the country. He hopes to set aside party loyalties and post-election bitterness to do what is right for the country.
By Dhanasekar

Leadership Habits for 2010.

1. get fit like a pro athlete
2.Lift people up verses tearing people down.
3.Believe in your dreams
4.Measure your success, not by your net worth but yourself worth.
5 Take an intelligent risk every 24 hours no-try no-win
6.remember that business is all about relationship and human connections.
7.Be willing to fail it is the price of greatness
8 Run your own race
9.Rather than doing many things at mediocrity do just a few things -but a mastery
10.Remember that the more you go to your limits, the more your limits will expand.
11.see everything that happens to you as opportunity to grow.
12.Use excellent words
13. Don't complain, gossip, be negative.
14.Laugh more , smile more.

BY
Dhanasekar

There Are No Mistakes

So easy to beat yourself up over mistakes you've made. So many amongst us live in the past rather than loving the present and building a brilliant future. Some people stay stuck for years over something they did or a failure they've experienced. Sad. A life is a terrible thing to waste.

But let me ask you a question: "is there really such a thing as a mistake?" First of all, no one tries to fail or mess things up. Every one of us wakes up in the morning, walks out into the world and does the best we can do based on what we know and the skills we have. But even more importantly, every so-called "mistake' is actually a rich source of learning. An opportunity to build more awareness and understanding and gain precious experience. Experience that will help us do, feel and be even better. So, just maybe, there are no mistakes. Just maybe what we could call failures are actually growth lessons in wolf's clothing. And just maybe the person who experiences the most wins

It Only Takes A Minute!

It only takes a minute to tell a loved one you adore them

It only takes a minute to run towards a fear

It only takes a minute to set a big goal

It only takes a minute to drink a glass of water

It only takes a minute to read a great idea (that just might rock your world)

It only takes a minute to write the most beautiful thank you note you have ever sent your parents (or a teammate or a customer or a high school teacher who blessed your life)

It only takes a minute to smile

It only takes a minute to connect to a friend or a co-worker

It only takes a minute to help a human being in need

It only takes a minute to raise your standards to world- class

It only takes a minute to go the extra mile at work and wow a customer

It only takes a minute to reflect on what you can do today to be better than you were yesterday

It only takes a minute to embrace change

It only takes a minute to make a new choice that will lead to your best life.

Make the best of your minutes. Each one of them makes up your life.