The four riders of conflict

Business has become a human venture. Mastering communication is essential for leadership success. However, despite our best effort to speak clearly we often end up off-side in our conversations. In the complex anatomy of communication there are four simple yet powerful conversation stoppers. I call them the Four Riders of Conflict: Always. Never. Everything. Nothing.

Always and Never are absolute conclusions built on the past or assumptions about the future. Nobody likes to hear absolutes. Why? Because they simply aren’t true. "You’re always late for work" or “results never improve” swings the door wide open for heated debate and justification. The debate prevents us from having a productive conversation about the real problem. Everything and Nothing operate in the same way. These two words lack validity, robbing us of our leadership credibility.

Leaders host productive conversations. Train your brain to drop the Four Riders of Conflict. Use laser like accuracy. Be specific. Precision is a defining characteristic of great leadership.

Your Opportunity for Impact

When hardship hits most people instinctively react with “what will happen to me? My family? My stock?” Our first instinct is to pull in, protect, and preserve our domains. It’s human nature. However, if we act only upon this line of thinking we end up following fear down an extremely narrow street, setting limitations on our lives.

In the new world we live in, the leaders who put people before profit will have the greatest impact. Those who believe in caring for the people first will win. Life has a very fair accounting system. Your return equals your investment. As much as it flies in the face of instinct, the difficult times are the exact times to be generous. Be generous with your time. Give away your gifts. Be philanthropic with your attention. Now is the time to pay it forward – to reinvest those acts of kindness done for you back into the social accounting system.

Here’s your opportunity for impact:

1. Look around, who needs a hand? It might be a teammate, peer or a customer. Show some real leadership.

2. What action can you take immediately to influence their situation? What would make a difference? A coffee and a heart to heart talk. The afternoon off. A hand written note. Tickets to tonight’s game. Money in their parking meter.

3. Remember small acts carry deep meaning. Paying it forward only needs to cost you creativity and good will. The monetary value is not the point.

Paying it forward is an invaluable investment hiding in plain sight. Look for your daily opportunity for impact.