Self esteem is a personality ingredient that one has to have and if possible in great amounts. That is not to say that a person need to be extremely sure of oneself to the point of arrogance; they just need enough amounts to be able to withstand the pressures of life and lead a contented existence.
It wouldn’t make much difference if self esteem can be measured.
This is because there is really no specific amount of self esteem that one can be prescribed with. Different persons need different amounts of self-esteem the same way that different dynamics or aspects of one person’s life require different doses of self esteem. There is really no specific amount. In fact, different situations also demand different amounts of self-esteem.
Whatever the amounts that you need, there is no argument that one needs self esteem. It is basically developed during the growing up years in the way we are treated by our parents and the people around us. Parental treatment and social group interaction play major roles in the development of self esteem. But that is not to say that self esteem will be a permanent fixture come adulthood. It can still be developed and enhanced, no matter what the age is.
Below are some tips in how to develop the self esteem, techniques that can work across all ages. Read on and you might get a thing or two that you can apply in your own life or with other people.
Self-affirmation
There is a difference between self-love and narcissism. Although it is not recommended to become obsessed with one’s positive qualities, it is not wrong to once in a while acknowledge our achievements and talents. Self-affirmation is a great way to increase our self esteem levels. Telling yourself that you are great in front of the mirror every morning may seem too much but it actually works in increasing one’s self-confidence.
Of course, you don’t have to take self-affirmation to the extreme if you don’t want to. Sometimes acknowledging the little achievements that you have done at the end of the day is enough to raise the rate of self-esteem.
Doing the things that you love
There is no aphrodisiac that would make you love yourself more than doing the things that you love. When you love what you are doing, you become happier and more enthusiastic. You will also become more interested in developing your skills, thereby improving yourself and allowing you to trust yourself more. Besides, if you are happy with what you are doing, you are more confident with your decisions and your actions.
Voicing out
There is something quite liberating with voicing out your own opinions and speaking your mind. Although there are some people who would try to put you down and argue with what you believe in; there are still people who will respect you for your thoughts. Acknowledging your thoughts and becoming comfortable with your thoughts will allow you to slowly trust yourself; thus increasing your self esteem.
Accepting that you are not perfect
There is no perfect person in the world. Often, people develop low self esteem because they try so much to become perfect; but one thing that they have to learn is that they cannot become one because there is no perfect person. All they can be is the best that they can be.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Your Perfect Day
Just recorded the latest video for The Monthly Coach program I do. One of the pieces was on "The Perfect Day". While nothing's perfect in business and in life, recording what your ideal day looks like is a smart move. Because with greater clarity comes better choices.
What was the best day you've had in the past 12 months? What made it so special - and unforgettable? What things were you doing that time that gave you those superior results? Once you know what works, you can set about doing them with greater consistency. And consistency is the generator of Mastery.
Here are 4 recommendations for a perfect day:
1. Get up early. Getting up early is a gift you give yourself - once you install the habit. Yes, that's hard at first but after a few weeks you'll have more time for yourself every morning - time to think/read/visualize/exercise and set yourself up for superb results.
2. Run a schedule. I write more about this in The Greatness Guide where I say: "The things that get scheduled are the things that get done." Success and happiness don't happen by accident. No, they occur through conscious choice. Schedule your priorities and the most important things in your life so you can get them done.
3. Stand in Gratitude. While there are so many things you could do to ensure a great/perfect day, I find spending even 5 minutes in gratitude reshapes the way I perceive my day. Please remember, stress and gratitude can't share the same room. And you'll see more of what you pay attention to. So focus on best and block out the rest.
4. Growth. Much as we resist change, the fact is human beings are happiest when we are growing. To live perfect days, do things that move you out of your comfort zone and into your Discomfort Zone. A day with zero growth is a day unfully lived. Fears faced die speedy deaths.
BY dhanasekar
What was the best day you've had in the past 12 months? What made it so special - and unforgettable? What things were you doing that time that gave you those superior results? Once you know what works, you can set about doing them with greater consistency. And consistency is the generator of Mastery.
Here are 4 recommendations for a perfect day:
1. Get up early. Getting up early is a gift you give yourself - once you install the habit. Yes, that's hard at first but after a few weeks you'll have more time for yourself every morning - time to think/read/visualize/exercise and set yourself up for superb results.
2. Run a schedule. I write more about this in The Greatness Guide where I say: "The things that get scheduled are the things that get done." Success and happiness don't happen by accident. No, they occur through conscious choice. Schedule your priorities and the most important things in your life so you can get them done.
3. Stand in Gratitude. While there are so many things you could do to ensure a great/perfect day, I find spending even 5 minutes in gratitude reshapes the way I perceive my day. Please remember, stress and gratitude can't share the same room. And you'll see more of what you pay attention to. So focus on best and block out the rest.
4. Growth. Much as we resist change, the fact is human beings are happiest when we are growing. To live perfect days, do things that move you out of your comfort zone and into your Discomfort Zone. A day with zero growth is a day unfully lived. Fears faced die speedy deaths.
BY dhanasekar
Thursday, July 9, 2009
THE BEST HABITS OF EXCELLENT LEADERS
You know you need zero title to show up at leadership - both within your work and at your home. I've been in the trenches - developing Leaders Without Titles within organizations - for nearly 15 years. Here are some of the personal habits I've seen the best of the best model:
1. They ask brilliant questions.
2. They are fit like athletes (as I mentioned on Twitter the other day "Your #1 business asset is your health".)
3. They are direct/clear/authentic communicators
4. They read (The best leaders have the biggest libraries! Read to Win).
5. They keep journals to record good ideas, lessons learned and dreams to be executed on.
6. The run their own race. Leadership isn't about following the mob and being like everyone else. That's followership.
7. They are ethical - maintaining pristine reputations.
8. They lead where they are planted, deeply understanding that leadership is a way of behaving versus a title on a business card.
By dhanasekar
1. They ask brilliant questions.
2. They are fit like athletes (as I mentioned on Twitter the other day "Your #1 business asset is your health".)
3. They are direct/clear/authentic communicators
4. They read (The best leaders have the biggest libraries! Read to Win).
5. They keep journals to record good ideas, lessons learned and dreams to be executed on.
6. The run their own race. Leadership isn't about following the mob and being like everyone else. That's followership.
7. They are ethical - maintaining pristine reputations.
8. They lead where they are planted, deeply understanding that leadership is a way of behaving versus a title on a business card.
By dhanasekar
Friday, July 3, 2009
Jumpstarting Your Self-Esteem
When we talk about increasing our self-esteem, we are often overwhelmed by the emotional and mental baggage we’re carrying. So much so that we give up before we even get started.
All we need is an inroad to jumpstart the process, but tackling the way we feel or think about ourselves is not easy. However, our mental and emotional natures are not the only ones we possess. We also have a physical nature, and it is much easier to access and change. So let’s begin there. You’re probably thinking to yourself that I’m talking about becoming a work-out junkie, but I’m not. I’m talking simply about body language.
Body language doesn’t just speak to others. It speaks to you. Allowing your shoulders to round over or slump forward – keeping your head tilted downward – avoiding eye contact . . . . . All these postures tell your mental and emotional natures that you don’t feel too good about yourself.
Don’t believe me? For just a day, try walking with your shoulders back, your neck straight, your head level, and smile at others when they look your way. It will jumpstart change in your life. Your body language will be transmitting to your mental and emotional natures that you have value, that you like yourself, and changes will begin to occur in those areas of your life as well.
Changing your body language gives you the opportunity to experience the feelings that accompany high self-esteem. It also changes the way others respond to you. This transforms your interactions, which in turn reshapes your emotional attitudes. Keep this up and be alert to the changes occurring in your inner and outer worlds, and you will be on your way to healing your self-esteem.
All the best
Dhanasekar
All we need is an inroad to jumpstart the process, but tackling the way we feel or think about ourselves is not easy. However, our mental and emotional natures are not the only ones we possess. We also have a physical nature, and it is much easier to access and change. So let’s begin there. You’re probably thinking to yourself that I’m talking about becoming a work-out junkie, but I’m not. I’m talking simply about body language.
Body language doesn’t just speak to others. It speaks to you. Allowing your shoulders to round over or slump forward – keeping your head tilted downward – avoiding eye contact . . . . . All these postures tell your mental and emotional natures that you don’t feel too good about yourself.
Don’t believe me? For just a day, try walking with your shoulders back, your neck straight, your head level, and smile at others when they look your way. It will jumpstart change in your life. Your body language will be transmitting to your mental and emotional natures that you have value, that you like yourself, and changes will begin to occur in those areas of your life as well.
Changing your body language gives you the opportunity to experience the feelings that accompany high self-esteem. It also changes the way others respond to you. This transforms your interactions, which in turn reshapes your emotional attitudes. Keep this up and be alert to the changes occurring in your inner and outer worlds, and you will be on your way to healing your self-esteem.
All the best
Dhanasekar
Ready-Aim-Fire!
I thought I would share this with you today because it keeps coming up. It is a technique that I encourage my clients to use when confronted with resistance or confusing choices.
It is always good to give yourself a chance to think things through before you allow your emotions to make all your decisions. It is a known fact that emotions are 30,000 times faster than thoughts. So let’s give our thoughts a chance when it comes to our decision-making. What do you say?
My Ready-Aim-Fire recommendation:
1. Ready: Allow yourself to stop FEELING for a few moments to break the force of the existing pattern or resistance. It’s sort of like what the Dog Whisperer does to break the state of mind in a dog. It interrupts the status quo. Your emotions are faster than your thoughts. So it is necessary to break that momentum.
2. Aim: Calmly and objectively assess all your options. Ask yourself which ones will take you closer to your goal or further from it. In other words, intellectually assess the options. Once you’ve made your choice (and remember, the choice is always yours, no matter what it is), then you allow positive, supportive emotions to align themselves with your decision.
3. Fire: Now you are ready to act, to be a conscious creator of your own life.
All the best
Dhanasekar
It is always good to give yourself a chance to think things through before you allow your emotions to make all your decisions. It is a known fact that emotions are 30,000 times faster than thoughts. So let’s give our thoughts a chance when it comes to our decision-making. What do you say?
My Ready-Aim-Fire recommendation:
1. Ready: Allow yourself to stop FEELING for a few moments to break the force of the existing pattern or resistance. It’s sort of like what the Dog Whisperer does to break the state of mind in a dog. It interrupts the status quo. Your emotions are faster than your thoughts. So it is necessary to break that momentum.
2. Aim: Calmly and objectively assess all your options. Ask yourself which ones will take you closer to your goal or further from it. In other words, intellectually assess the options. Once you’ve made your choice (and remember, the choice is always yours, no matter what it is), then you allow positive, supportive emotions to align themselves with your decision.
3. Fire: Now you are ready to act, to be a conscious creator of your own life.
All the best
Dhanasekar
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
